Title of the Piece: Verbal tantrum

Painted at 4:40 p.m. on 2007-05-07

So my mom failed to pay her mortgage for 5 months, which means Gretl and I have to come up with the money. That means I have to get a cash advance on my credit card and kiss that money good-bye. It also means that for the next several months, Gretl and I have to come up with extra dollars to pay her bankruptcy lawyer. This is on top of my mortgage going up $500. I'm so angry, scared, bothered that all I want to do is scream and cry. I'm so angry that she never told us that she wasn't paying her mortgage. I'm so angry that she didn't plan her move better and put herself in this position and now we have to bail her out. I'm angry because she has yet to tell/ask me to pay, she's only told Gretl and so in turn, I bitch to Gretl about it when she breaks the bad news to me. I want to yell at my mom and make her understand what a burden this is for us. I want to tell her she made a bad choice in moving and that it's not fair that she's so irresponsible. It took her over a year to find a job. OVER A YEAR. And it's not because places weren't hiring, it's because she went to a po-dunk town and thought she'd get a job making $50k off the bat. Everyone told her that wouldn't happen, she didn't believe them and then blamed the COMPANIES for not hiring her and her college-educated self. She didn't want to accept that she'd be making $20K a year, so her stubbornness has led to Gretl and I going to the poorhouse. I am so angry right now. And the worst part is that if we don't help her, she'll lose her house. We can't let her lose her house for a few grand, but fuck, I feel like this is so unfair.

I really want to write about what a great weekend I had, because I did. We went camping with 2 other couples and went canoeing and hiking and had a really, really good time. I love being in a good relationship.

Starts with a Brush then comes a stroke.

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